There are two women who call themselves best friends. Later on, one woman meets a man and they become engaged in a matrimonial relationship before seeking validation and recordation in the county courthouse. This is an intimate physical relationship that occupies a shared physical space and a shared headspace room they both describe as love. More time passes. The best friend and the man have interacted long enough to also consider themselves to be friends, but without saying so, they both know this perhaps would not be the case if it were not for the woman they have in common. Thus the strength of their relationship is tenuous, hangs by a thread, a single shared primary connection that is not always present to define and re-enforce the bond.
Because unmet needs sometimes lead to hunger pangs that break free from their corral and reins, there comes a moment when the best friend suggests to the man that they engage in an intimate physical relationship, even if for just one moment.The man addresses the friend directly without ambiguity. Instead of just saying, what the hell, hell no, get the hell outta here, or what kind of friend are you, the man decides to be kinder and make this a teachable moment. He begins mentioning multiple points of consideration, not necessarily in order of importance.
1. If this were to take place, it would have to be more than once, otherwise, what's the point?
2. If this were to take place, you would no longer be allowed to have this type of intimate physical relationship with anyone else.3. There must be precautions taken to prevent becoming pregnant, and if pregnancy did happen, what would be the course of action?
4. In order for me to go through this openly or clandestinely, I would have to think of you differently and look at you differently, both less than ideally, which are waypoints of no return.
The man rattles off these first four things, hoping this would sound crazy enough to help the friend understand how much is at stake.
He pauses.
He is expecting her to say, I'm sorry, I made a mistake, please forgive me, I will never suggest that again. Instead, after thirty seconds or more, she remains silent and just looks at the man as if to say, is that all? He digs in and continues.
6. What is the benefit to you, to me, and to our friend? Recognizing that this might be too much packed into one question, he pivots to another path. Since right now this discussion is between you and me, and you are offering something to me, thinking that it has the chance of acceptability, what do you think is the benefit to me?
7. He is moving fast trying to overwhelm her with all that is involved with “just one moment, just one time.” He pivots again, this time back around and doubles down on Point #1. He asks, do you have some kind of magic potion seasoning that turns generic poonani into the flavor of umami?8. Is selfishness a sufficient trade-off to risk friendship -– love -– a clean heart --- spirit --- soul? He is now clearly showing that he is tiring of this notion of conspiring. He is now swiftly moving past being annoyed, and her thinking that he, if necessary, would be amenable to, and capable of, gaslighting a fume that fills his shared room.
So he pauses yet again, calms himself. She still seems undisturbed, unperturbed, calm of nerve. He continues.9. I have no desire to knowingly do anything to bring my friend, lady and lover any harm, shame, hurt, pain or reason to mistrust me or you. He refers to Point #5. Even the mention of this by either you or me, seeking her permission is not worth what is fleetingly gained, easily found and obtained, in exchange for what is hard to find and sustain. Voices from the Amen Corner were speaking through him.
10. The only way this could possibly be a good idea is if, your introduction into our intimate physical headspace, enhances the relationship between you and her, her and me, you and me.11. And if that is possible by virtue of you and I indulging in an intimate physical relationship, with or without divulgence, then enhancement should be possible even moreso before doing so. Somebody says, Hallelujah!
12. He directs his gaze directly into her eyes. If this is something you still want to do, this must come by way of better understanding yourself, your best friend and me. It is only through that enhancement process that there could ever be the chance of our friend reaching the point of initiating the suggestion that the three of us coexist as one in all aspects.Closing Thoughts Into More Openings
Since understanding self and all else includes learning from the experiences of others, this scenario will provide additional insights when discussed with those you already have open conversations with, i.e., those who you think you share the same type of close ideological headspace.As you can see, this message is an exception to the rule of not explaining the reason for declining an invitation to enter into any kind of relationship. This was stated in Polymorphous Relationships, The Original Form Of Polygamy, Three Men & A Woman, Unity Consciousness #3496
Do you think it matters whether or not the man thinks this is a setup?Consider if anything would be different if the two women are sisters or twins.
Lastly, did any of your internal or external conversations mention the widely relied upon ancient text that contains several context acceptable examples of this type of polymorphous relationship? Including one form that did not include the private personal physical intimate form of sex.