Chicago Drivers: City Slickers Stuck

Chicago drivers are city fed on pretty cozy conditions. In a land of multiple lanes and mostly flat, gently curving roads, the biggest hazards are each other. Yet, only one thing is certain. City drivers slow down for everything except construction workers. Whenever there's an accident, traffic stop or tire change, drivers become gawkers and traffic stoppers. Understandably you can't gawk and keep going at the same time.

When it comes to driver behavior in Chicagoland, I've learned to expect an overreaction during any single drop of rain or snow. These wet weather events instantly freeze dry motion. Today, there wasn't even enough snow to fill a Dixie cup; yet, Hell froze over right before my eyes. Seconds later, I added my request for bladder control to the growing number of prayers clogging the airwaves.

The only time traffic stopped in West Virginia was when rain raced through the mountainous funnel like bad news on a slow Samaritan day. Chicago drivers, could we at least go 10 mph? Pull over if you're petrified, other than that, keep moving people! If these same drivers found themselves in mountain country at the same time there's even a hint of inclement weather, they'd have nervous breakdowns.

Although it took 90 minutes and 10 gallons of gas to travel 5 miles, I wasn't completely stuck. I did a bit of writing.

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Chicago drivers, city slickers, gawkers, satire, West Virginia