If you do not understand racism (white supremacy) and how it works, everything else you understand will only confuse you. - Neely Fuller

We need something to clarify everything for us, because we get confused...but if we use the concept of Asili, we will understand that whatever it is they are doing, whatever terms they use, however they come at you, you need to be thinking about what? How is this going to facilitate their power and help them to dominate me? -Marimba Ani

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Ways To Avoid A Good Samaritan

When A Friend Is In Need

Adapted from a comment on Holiday Half-Stepping

I was talking to a friend I hadn't spoken to in awhile. He lost his job earlier this year and his life appears to be in shambles. He hustles constantly trying everything he knows just to make enough money to keep him and his daughter afloat. He said he gets depressed a lot, feeling his world has let him down and he has to fight to stay strong on a daily basis just to keep from ending it all. I guess there are a series of reasons why he's where he is, at this point in his life. His opinion is that a half step is better than no step at all. He feels he would be "set" if he had half of the things men his age acquire (he's 48).

The main thing here is this person's state of spirit and mind. If I were you I'd stay in frequent contact, no less than once per week, and provide positive energy to help him refocus to find that feeling of control, his centering point, his source of strength, his love for himself and his daughter, his purpose for being here and his spirit-given talents not his dollar-driven talents (what the spirit gives and what we allow to be revealed is not necessarily the same as things we're good at, have learned to do or matches the skills and abilities on our resume').

All it takes is one person to help someone. Continue to provide positive information to feed his mind and spirit. Try Job Lost? Don't Lose Spirituality.

Also, if you know anyone else who knows him, get them involved in doing real things to help him regain control such as money (if he refuses your offers tell him it's an investment of belief or a long term loan or ask if he'd do the same for you). Other ways to help are a gas card, helping with his daughter, job leads, resume' and letter writing and editing, life planning (short and long term), budgeting, etc.

If unsure what to do after listening closely, ask directly how you can help, what concerns him most and what is creating the most difficulty. Ask, be silent, wait for responses.

Being there in person can go a long way. Whenever you talk to him be sure to allow plenty of time so it doesn't feel like a drive-by discussion or a routine checkup and then you're off to live your life until the next time. Before talking to him, allow 15 minutes of silent and still transition time to start focusing on this person. By just meditating on him, the entirety of your knowledge and experience with this person can provide insight on words to say and ways to help. Have a conversation.

Lastly, relate personal stories of trying moments you've experienced or are aware of.

It will make a difference.

For further enriching energy (you decide which ones to share and when by seeking your spirit's guidance):
Torture Chambers, Freedom & Obligations
I & We Are Strong
Father May I Start Over In 2009?
What Does It Take To Live?
Personal Growth: Enjoy Monstrous Screams (This is about self doubt)
It Can Be A Wonderful Life
Opening The Gift Of Childhood
Passion – Let It Go
Inspiring Quotes
Quotes & Proverbs To Live By
Break Away, Still Away
Giving Up & Spiritual Death, inspired by Tyler Perry's movie
Positive Poems of Hope & Healing

"The Hurricane," the story of Rubin Carter is a great movie of personal triumph and friendship in dire circumstances.

Naturally, all of this cannot be accomplished in one interaction but when a friend is in need, a friend will always do whatever it takes for as long as it takes. Their need becomes yours, their emergency becomes your priority. You take their pain personally. A friend is the only cool person that exists and is the best way to avoid leaving someone's time of need up to a stranger.