( 9aoi of 11)
As we learn to speak our truths in personal interactions (not at work), then we can also learn to hear untruths. These untruths can be spoken, live just in our heads or manifest in our behavior. These untruths can come from us or from others.Speak your truths early and often in personal relationships. The sooner you do, the sooner you will know whether the relationship has staying power and what level of relationship is possible.
A common mistake we make is to tiptoe around and avoid “sensitive” subjects until “after we get to know someone” and “after we are more comfortable.” This is ass backwards. The way to get to know someone is through conversations that have no limitations and through the experiencing and observing behavior current, future and past. Of course you're not going to tell a person all your private details but neither are you going to lie about details. You will merely state your unwillingness to get into certain details. What we should be seeking is to understand how a person thinks on a multitude of topics.All trainwreck relationships and derailments could have been avoided earlier before the relationship built up steam and picked up speed. There are always warning signs that logic doesn't match or mesh and that truths are in conflict with who two people need to be and need to have as individuals and as part of a relationship. Remember, all this applies to all forms of relationships, not just romantic or sexual.
One overlooked warning sign is when information doesn't make sense when you apply your logic to the information being presented by the other person or other group. If that other person is unable or unwillingly to discuss it further as needed, until you can figure out why and what doesn't make sense, then you have a problem and a tendency and a habit that will continue to manifest into a big ole pile swept under the rug. This will result in many unresolved understandings. Any one of these living dead topics can be an active landmine that will blow up in our faces when stepped on later in the relationship and pressure is applied from all the ways the relationship is now tied.Bottom Line: When a person or persons intentionally misrepresents information, they are making a free will choice to interact with someone else based on giving mistrust and receiving trust. Their logic tells them they cannot have the type of relationship they want if they are truthful. This person must continuously cover up untruths. This person has an extreme flaw of conscience. This is true whether or not their lies are known. Since this person has devalued those they have lied to, they deserve what they have given - no respect.
