Secondarily, it's a natural desire for humans to pair up for procreation of the species.
First priority is procreation. Secondary is love. That is, “love,” in the way most humans define love in an I-love-you, you-love-me, let's-get-together-and-be-happy, sort of way. Procreation itself is superhuman love.
Love has been discussed in numerous ways. This message does not repeat those messages.
We've Fallen Heels Over Heads With The Love Potion Notion Of Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Wife, Husband
We've fallen too much in love using a suboptimal approach.Briefly put, we continue to seek the boy or the girl first, and then the friend later, hoping we can merge the two ends, when they never had a chance to fit (the person and the friend), based on how we begin the process. Simply put, we've forgotten how to meet people as people, treat people as people and interact with people as people, absent the front and center concentration on gender, physical appeal and potential as girlfriend or boyfriend.
As a result, when this happens, we don't have real conversations, we have “feel” good discussions. Again, simply put, in the best of times, every person should have multiple males and females who are friends. This then will teach us, through experiences, how to then finally hone in on the traits in the person who will be the one to procreate with. And then, the way humans approach life, agree with that the person to become girlfriend/boyfriend, fiancé/fiancée, wife/husband, and often confusing “lover” and “soulmate” designations. Confusing because,all friends we should love, thus they are lovers. Plus all friends should be soulmates. So when we start out interacting with another person based on girlfriend/boyfriend spark potential, we've already skewed the process towards an imbalanced analysis of compatibility.
Simply put, interacting with people as people should be first. Then, if that develops into friendship, cool. Then, if that develops into a procreative relationship that includes pre-discussed dedication to work together to raise the child to fullness whether together or not, then cool beans. We all know that most short-term interactions with people do not have the stamina endurance to develop into friendship or girlfriend or boyfriend. And that's okay. Unfortunately we still sometimes place too much trust in limited experience, when we “like” the person on another level. This causes us to jump ahead of seeing how we interact with that person under a variety of circumstances, conversations, seasons and cycles of life. Very rarely are we really ourselves and say and do what we naturally think, until after taking the girlfriend-boyfriend misstep, after sex, after babies, after marriage or after wanting to get married and after all of this has led to a bunch more experience and information that we wish we'd had before or recognized before.
All this likely begins when we go out “on dates” instead of it being clearly identified as simply “hanging out” no other intentions attached. Without a doubt, this will cause at least one person to misread enjoying someone's company without sizing them up as a girlfriend or boyfriend. Delayed Reaction Newsflash: Going out on dates or having sex does not automatically make that person your girlfriend or boyfriend. That requires mutual agreement and those titles clearly stated and definitions clearly discussed and expectations clearly discussed. No hinting around. I like you and you like me and spending time together does not equate to being boyfriend and girlfriend. There are many signs that tell us what type of relationship is possible with each person, thus how far the relationship can go.
Likewise, once we begin moving in the direction towards girlfriend or boyfriend, IF that form of relationship requires either person to not have close friends who are of the opposite sex, then that newly formed relationship is doomed from the start. This is one of the more obvious signs we learn as we continue to grow up.
