Setting
I walked to a nearby gas station. I was carrying an approved red plastic container. I was dressed for blue collar labor with workboots, jeans, loc sock and sweat and dirt to match. This particular gas station is frequented by blue collar workers. There were several coming and going as I arrived.Interaction #1
As soon as I walked in, I noticed the registers were occupied by other customers. I've developed the habit of not paying attention to certain people who are not in my direct line of vision and have nothing to do with my purpose at the moment. Before I could come to a standstill and wait in line, a chastising voice said, “You can't have that in here!” (It was like the sound of a parent's voice to a child, “Get out of here with those dirty shoes on, can't you see I just mopped the floor?”) I looked slightly to one side and one of those other people I try to ignore, was an employee indicating I had to leave the gas can outside. I instantly noticed the person behind the counter look at the other employee like, “Is all that tone necessary?” In a split second I also considered my responses and decided one person's ignorance is not enough to do battle with when a war is at stake. I kinda looked at the employee in the general direction and said, “Okay” in a voice so calm, I wondered if I was medicated. I usually throw rocks at people, that was until one ricocheted and hit me. I remembered that. I took the gas can outside.Interaction #2
I came back, interacted with the cashier. I sensed the cashier's sympathetic vibes in her voice and gestures. I ignored the other employee who was still standing there. I got some gas and began to walk back down the road.Interaction #3
As I was about to cross the road, I heard a voice call out to someone. I took a few more steps then turned around. Another employee, who had come out a side door, asked if I needed a ride somewhere. Reasonably, the employee must have thought my car was out of gas somewhere. Now, understand I had just purchased 4 ½ gallons of gas, which doesn't sound like much but it's 37 pounds. Try dangling that at the end of one arm and carrying it about 4 city blocks on a hot day. It is not a normal way of using these muscles. Even before the employee stopped me, I was thinking the gas was heavier than I anticipated. I pointed and told the employee I was just going over there and said thanks for asking.Thoughts
What makes these interactions interesting is some of the demographics and dynamics. Remember, these interactions are taking place August 31, 2015 in this very sick place called America where the status quo people of racism and other discriminations are actually trying to answer the question, “how low can we go?” I am African, 52, hair in locs, dressed as described above and displaying a non-engaging, non-emotionally reactive demeanor. I was all about the business of getting some gas and getting back alive. The first employee was a white female in her early to mid 30s.The cashier was a black female at least 5 years older than the first employee.
The last employee was a white male about the same age as the cashier. Things for me to reflect on are: 1. An ongoing test is not to allow the lower self of others to pull me into a lower self reaction.
2. The spirit of the higher self, the human beingness part, is still alive in others, to some degree, expectedly in some and not so much so in others.
3. Individual encounters are not to be allowed to override encounters we all face.
4. It never ceases to amaze me how much attention black folks get when doing common everyday things. This is true wherever we go and “other” people are there. This especially happens all day at places of employment. Some folks will put up cameras and microphones in their yards to watch blacks in their yards. Others use drones and other basic eavesdropping and spy techniques. There is no such thing as privacy. Even the spies are being spied on. Privacy is about as private as racism is hidden.
5. I get the sense that the cashier and last employee were trying to offset the necessary/unnecessary attitude of the first employee and that she has displayed a similar demeanor towards certain customers before. I know this because I sense the extra mile of extending self to me of the other two for something, that although was rude, was not earth-shattering.
6. The warrior's greatest strengths are wisdom and understanding the dynamics of his weapons and the enemy's weapons.
7. Sometimes the needle in the haystack finds you.
8. It's amazing how much information the entire self processes and considers in microseconds and milliseconds. This has a direct correlation to health.
9. I was meditative rather than medicated.
