(9azzzzzzzzzzzzzzi of 11)
In recent times we've been inundated with programming to think “falling in love” is the way to go. Some people call this letting things happen naturally or natural love. All these lines of logic about love are overrated and in opposition to arranged marriages and becoming friends first but is not opposed to blind dates, matchmaking services and singles events as a way of jumpstarting what has not happened naturally.
The assertion that the indating of “falling in love” is overrated is proven by over 50% of marriages crashing in divorce. So much for the desired “fall” into a heartstring connection being able to sustain being enthralled and considerate corrections leading to perfection. We focus too much on attention to rom-ance rather than attention to needed mainten-ance. We focus too much on love signs as displays on holidays, birthdays and anniversaries, rather than focus on conversation based communication. The high failure rate of marriages, according to the measuring stick of “till death do us part” vows, is initially aided by family and friends who don't help us stay focused on the fundamentals of healthy relationships, but instead provide false confirmation by being more concerned with how did you meet rather than how do you match and merge for the greater purposes you are here to individually and collectively serve.
You can imagine how many non-married relationships go belly up. We rely too much on trial and error and get exactly that because we think several trials and errors ensure better performance the next time especially when another sensation of newness intoxicates like wine and causes us to forget we are bound to sober up over time or need stronger and stronger doses of newness to keep us infatuated. Only improved practice leads to improved results.
Forsaking Clues From Christians & Jews
According to the semi-white Judaeo-white Christian revisionist account of Nile Valley Mythology and Eschatology, we can tell Eve & Adam did not fall in love in the beginning and neither was it love at first sight and neither was it romance. They were together out of necessity and companionship and to fulfill specific Supreme Being functions for Earth, humans and other creatures. There was no physical attraction at first, because if there was, they would not have covered themselves and would have had sex right then and there. I'm assuming they were both the most beautiful people ever as studs and hotties, worthy of Paradise. So come on now, if you can't be naked in a Garden of Paradise, which is also your home, then where can you be naked and unashamed? Adam & Eve had no understanding of sex, friendship or love. Eve & Adam stayed together even though they did not know each other at first and trust was a bust because Adam blamed Eve for his transgression in the Garden and Eve blamed the serpent and accepted being made subservient (this falsification was part of the psychological warfare move towards degradation (objectification) of the female in patriarchy societies.So if the mother and father of humans accepted a marriage arranged by their parents and did not need to fall in love in order to be together and fulfill their duties for the greater good of all, then why do we need to make falling in love a prerequisite or an eventuality or a big deal or the epitome?
The first mention of the word “love” in the Judaeo-Christian bible is in reference to a father's love for his son, Abraham for Isaac. The CJB and OJB versions concur. The first usage of love was not from God or towards God. The first usage of love in reference to woman and man was Isaac for Rebekah. It does not say Rebekah loved Isaac also. Despite loving Rebekah, Isaac loved Esau and Rebekah loved Jacob. Rebekah and Jacob acted treacherously in stealing Esau's blessing from Isaac. We can be certain the word love in the JC bible has been used to replace several other earlier words having various meanings other than our current understanding of love.
Backing That Love Thang Up Into Love Supreme
Since knowledge must fall before a fall into love occurs, getting together for mutually needed security reasons is a better reason to get married than some notion of mutually falling in love as enough of a foundation for rising in love and never falling like giddy to the point of silly Icarus who forgot love as glue to hold together the wings of love, will never do if you expect that love to lift you to the highest heights of exhilaration and satisfaction.Because New Ages are moving us back towards more knowledge of self and all else, a version of this is a rising trend of females who interview males pretty quickly upon meeting to get their responses to many questions important to the female in choosing a mate, partner, someone to date, get married, have children, raise children and support each other. More females are not beginning to not seek love as a priority but only as a byproduct of attention to details and fundamentals of two people who have harmonious logic. This is a good idea but some males find this offputting because females are being initiators and asserting themselves as expected due to much needed influences from New Ages. Too passive or too aggressive is not good but honesty is always all good.
Bottom Line: We got it backwards. A better ordering of our approach to loving relationships is:1. respect through understandings of the collective self
2. friendship, collaboration, not competition for esteem
3. marriage, or not, but still working together
4. enhancing into love by supporting each other in pursuit of optimal beingness
5. rising in romance
In other words, love is only part of what makes a relationship whole and sustainable. Love is not the next logical step after interest, like and enjoyment. 1 thru 4 above come first, despite claims of love being otherwise attained.
You do not fall into love, you know into love and grow into love by growing in knowing self and all else that helps you recognize spirit-mind-emotion synergy with someone else. This is a continuous process that contains layers of continuous processes. Relationships are new creations that must be nurtured over time to maturation, thus the need for tempering early expectations.A so called romantic relationship is not about getting together to live happily ever after. With 1 and 2 above in mind and intact, it's about living healthily from jump by getting together to survive first and then thrive together, but not necessarily equally at the same time. Darkness and light like cold and hot cannot thrive in max manifestation elation state but must alternate with optimal state, which also fluctuates. This allows two truths, such as two people in a relationship, to coexist peacefully in the same place at the same time in their own space and be able to come together and separate with the same and separate identities, just as hydrogen and oxygen do in the way of water, air and so many other aspects of their relationship, which I am glad don't depend on and hinge on their notions of whether or not they love each other. Yet hydrogen and oxygen keep coming together, bonding and functioning as needed, having other relationships they both share and some they don't. Hydrogen and Oxygen fulfill their destinypurposes, all of which are more important than falling in love as one of the best things life has to offer.
