.
( 9zy of 11)
As I listened to a person tell a brief portion of their most recent “romantic” relationship, I immediately heard myself speaking from parts of all my relationships. Pretty much everything she said and exuded, I also had experienced openly or privately in my thoughts. My brief response was as follows:
I love your spirit and love you as spirit. You have shown us your nakedness and are stronger than most. The main thing is that we can get off-focus as we are getting on focus. All of my past relationships rose and fell based on my understanding of myself. As this occurred, the mismatch occurred. It was a match at first that became a mismatch. And that's okay. It's all good until we force it or deny it. No one is to blame except for dishonesty and intentional infliction of harm. Our value is pre-determined in preexistence. And this is why I love you spirit is me talking to me. Liking each other is a good thing and prerequisite to love. It is common for the growth to be uneven between two people. So we make the best decision at the moment and as long as we are balanced in our assessment, possibilities are still available, even those that might cause us to revisit being in each other's lives later.
There is a necessity to be brief when posting comments; however when I listened to the video again the following additional thoughts reminded me of what I need to remember as I enter into 2020.
Point #1
When we don't really know ourselves we start from the position of “do I like this person.”
However, when we know ourselves sufficiently, we automatically start out liking a person, but then ask “is there a reason not to like this person.”
This is so because when we have sufficient knowledge of self, we automatically love ourselves, thus by extension, we automatically like the self in others, thus we meet people from the position of liking them because they are human like us.
So it's a good thing to to be prejudiced towards liking people until they do something worthy of dislike.
So when we carry this over to romantic relationships, if we or the other person starts out trying to decide whether we like each other, we have a problem that will likely reveal itself later and derail the relationship, hopefully. This is so because one or both of us lack sufficient knowledge of self. Without this, most relationships, will not be what they could be and will usually result in the diminshment of both.
Africans in many places in the world today and historically liked people because they were people, thus treated newcomers as humans, friends, and ultimately family.
Point #2
The speaker agreed with others that she knows nothing because she is a single woman. I would only agree if the same is true for a single man.
However, on second thought, are we to say that a child who matures into adulthood, still knows nothing unless they are married. And then if they become divorced or widowed, do they then lose or forget what they know?
Point #3
Even though you and I agree we like each other or love each other, the components of that may differ, thus also how it manifests expresses itself. This then is often the step we leave out on each topic we discuss. Okay we love each other, so how does that play itself out in terms of this, that and the other? We fail to get details and just assume that spending time together is equally valued as a component of what we both mean when we say we love each other.
Simply put, we make the mistake of thinking that loving each other means that the other person loves us at the same priority level as all other things loved. Family, mama, kids, job, money. Where do we fit in to this love arrangement?
We've romanticized love so much we assume we are number one above all things the person loved before meeting us. It's unrealistic. We both must figure out how to blend into each others lives without disrupting the main flow, unless the other person wants to change their own flow.
In other words, a person can love us and value us, even if we are not the thing, activity or person we love most. It's both our faults for accepting a deal without clear understanding of the terms, conditions, update statuses, deadlines, remedies and restructuring process.
Point #4
In my last relationship, I made a critical mistake by assuming the person, being over 40 and having many past relationships, meant that the person was ready to dedicate all to our relationship with truth and no games. This was based on explicitly asking these questions and stating these things. Yet, time revealed that that open acknowledgment was part of the game that people play by saying whatever is necessary. Admittedly we are always complicit even if our fault is having unrealistic expectations and not addressing concerns immediately so as not to allow them to fester into something they are not.
Point #5
There are areas of our own development that are uneven. Maturity in one area does not guarantee maturity in another.
We live in a whirlpool of logic that is mostly imbalanced. All of it boils down to value, worth, esteem, identity, intelligence.
We must resist the urge to speak good or bad of self or the other person in terms of fault unless we first consider how we were an accessory before, during and/or after the fact.
When I listen to “I am ready for love” by India Arie, it is a love song to myself, not as human but as spirit, not as the spirit in this human form but the spirit of spirits singing to self and singing to the individual lost parts of self that have lost sense of the total self dynamics.
How To Know What LEVEL Of Relationship Is Possible, Unity Consciousness #1810
